When I first started on this running endeavor earlier this year, I really had no intentions of signing up for and running races. I hadn’t run for over ten years, and I just wanted some variety from my weight training and HIIT workouts. Then I signed up for a 5k. Then two 10ks. I got the crazy idea to run a half marathon. I can’t believe I did it! So, without further adieu, are random thoughts that kept my mind occupied for over 13 miles.
Wow! what a beautiful day! This place is great! And there is wine at the end! Well, I mean, it is a winery.
ohh! We’re starting. I hope I haven’t made a mistake. Some of these people look as if they could fly. And apparently they can, cuz away they go. It’s ok. Let them go.
“We’re rollin’ off the rails on a crazy train…” Not yet, Ozzy. Check back at mile ten, though. Might be different. I really feel great. Am I going too fast? These hills feel easy. I can’t believe I am thinking that.
Don’t pet the dog, don’t pet the dog, don’t pet…okay I pet the dog. But he was such a good boy! I hope there aren’t any more doggie spectators, or I will finish this race tonight sometime.
Oh. Oh, my. For the love of God, if you are going to where a speedo, at least make sure it’s the right size! Put your shirt back on. It is not even 70 degrees yet. Besides, if I can keep my boobs locked up in an industrial strength sports bra and have a shirt over it, you can keep your butt crack covered.
nana nana nana nana butt crack man! Oh, he is walking now whoohoo! Passing him up.
Hey, it’s already mile four! That means I only have…a little over 9 miles to go! Hmm. That doesn’t sound as good as I thought. All right, no more math.
Yay! Hills are behind me!
This is a really cute little town. Quaint houses. Nice dogs. They live near a winery. Maybe I should move here. MIle 6 is history.
Is that person actually trying to watch a movie and run?? Wow. Hope they don’t trip in a pothole, these roads are not the greatest.
Running, running, just keep running. OMG. I just turned into a human version of Dory at mile 8. Hey, only 5.1 miles to go. And just think, if it was a marathon i’d have, like 18 more to go. AAH! No more math! And why am i doing calculations for a race i am not even running yet? Stay in this race, please.
The hills are back.
Dammit, Rihanna, diamonds don’t shine, they reflect! Everyone knows that.
Now I am taking my anger out on innocent songs in my playlist. Sorry Rihanna. i like your song. But diamonds don’t shine.
Does this hill ever end? I have been going uphill forever. Why does it feel like I am walking? I just passed someone, so I can’t be going THAT slow, right?
If one more person says “run Forrest run” I will throat punch them.
Ahh! the top of the hill! Finally! Don’t go too fast down this hill. Don’t fall.
Don’t look at the rest of the hills. Just keep going. 2.1 more miles.
#$@$! They should ban race photographers from taking pictures of us going up hills. Ain’t a single one of us smiling. A couple of grimaces, some @#%$-you looks, someone halfway raised a hand to wave.
But, finally-mile 13! I can see the finish line–uphill, through the vineyard. .1 to go. I just need my legs to cooperate. Oh, man, my thighs hurt, my calves hurt, everything hurts, I’m dying—and I made it! Yes!
This is amazing! Someone help me walk, please.
